Call Off the Search

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.” ― William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

You’ve heard it said that Spiritual Truth is paradoxical. This is why spiritual seeking is often frustrating because, in our normal way of seeking anything, we assume ourselves to be the subject that wants some thing, an object of desire. This dualism, subject/object is based on a notion of separation. But the Truth is nondual, all One, without a second, thus no such separation exists. It is as St. Francis has been quoted to say, “The One you are looking for is the One that is looking.” In other words, the One we’ve been looking for (i.e., God) is the deepest One within us that does all looking. It is the knower of all things known, and that is the knowing.

The culprit behind this optical delusion of consciousness is the human mind, which in its finiteness, necessarily divides all seeing into discrete objects while it holds itself apart as a separate subject of observation. This is dualism. It is the tendency. that Jesus referred to, as “judging by appearances,” and is responsible for the sense of separation we experience. This sense gives rise to feelings of lack, vulnerability, and our fear of death. Until we clearly see this perceptual bias as the root of misperception that gives rise to all psychological suffering, any efforts to find spiritual refuge will be futile.

Our refuge is closer than our breath, as Jesus said, as close as our neck vein, as it says in the Koran. It is called by many names, Christ Mind, Buddha nature, our true nature. I personally resonate with Presence, as it describes the immediacy and timelessness (here and now) of our inner essence. Presence is what we really are. As consciousness itself, it is our capacity for knowing; that which makes experience possible. Presence, or awareness is prior to any objective perspective, just like the screen makes the experience of a movie possible. When we are watching a movie we overlook the screen, even though the substance of the movie is the screen. When the movie ends, we become aware of the screen, because what has distracted us from seeing the screen ceases to obscure the screen that makes seeing possible. In similar fashion, we overlook the ever-present presence of awareness, or pure consciousness, which is the substance of all knowing, because our seeing is co-opted by our focus on the objects in awareness.

This is why we seek but do not find. The peace, happiness, and contentment we desire are not to be found in circumstances, material objects, relationships, or substances, all of which are objects in the world of appearances. Spiritual awakening is the recognition that what we have been looking for outside of us, is in fact, our very nature. We can journey far and wide, in an endless pursuit of peace and happiness, just like Dorothy Gale on her way to Oz, or the Prodigal Son, only to find that what we sought apart from us, was right here (within) all along.

Mindfulness practice can be valuable to facilitating this recognition. Take five minutes in the quiet and become aware of thoughts and feelings that arise but don’t stop there. Notice what is prior to thoughts and feelings. How is it that you are even aware of thoughts? That capacity is the screen of pure consciousness. It is empty, spacious, objectless awareness. In this sacred yet ever-present milieu, there is equanimity, peace, and profound wellbeing. Call off the search and rest here.

Peace and blessings,

Rev. Larry