During this Christmas season, many people will engage in the tradition of exchanging gifts with loved ones. Though we no longer get caught up in the rapacious shopping frenzy of consumerism gone wild, we still find joy in this ritual of giving and receiving. In moderation, with conscious attention to assure gifting remains an activity of heart and generosity, it can enhance well-being and adds sweetness to the holidays. Throw in holiday parties, and seasonal goodies, special services that deepen our sense of the sacred, and we can find much comfort and joy during the Christmas season.
However just as the birth story of Jesus was not all magic and a chorus of angels, our Christmas season celebrations can involve human foibles that pose risks to our comfort and joy. During the holidays, many people feel the strain of expectations; from falling short of some imagined quota of giving enough, or receiving enough, to the emotional demands of family that often ascend to unattainable heights this time of year. It’s as if the miraculous becomes an expectation. Despite expectations, not everyone seems to have the capacity in the inn of their hearts to behave the way we would like them to. The people gathered around family celebrations may not bear any resemblance to the wise and generous magi from the East capable of showering us with adoration and fine gifts. And we may be disappointments to them, failing to appear as angels on high singing their praises from heaven above. When we hold rigid expectations for others' behavior we set them up for failure as we set ourselves up for disappointment.
We can go on expecting the best in others and ourselves as an ideal that may someday be realized, yet, there is a deeper perspective available that can spare us from disappointment when expectations are not met. Here it is. It is the best gift you have ever received, bar none, the gift that will never become obsolete, wear out or fail to satisfy your deepest desires and expectations for happiness. Jesus compared it to a pearl of great price. He told his disciples that it would not come with expectation; that it was at hand and in the midst of them. It would be the fulfillment of all their wanting, the satisfaction of their yearning for peace, love, joy and well-being. He called it the Kingdom of Heaven. You don’t have to stand in line at Costco or fight the crowds at the mall, delivery time is nil. It’s here, within you and me, right now. No matter what you receive, what you give, or what they do or say this gift will not shrink from its infinite promise and ability to meet your deepest need. It’s the gift of Presence in this precious present moment.
I know of no better antidote to the dismay of unmet expectations, be they the holiday variety, or otherwise, than to pause and remember. Take a conscious breath and come back to the present moment, and re-member who you are, and whose you are. Dropping the angst of expectations will allow you to drop into the heart of Being, into the virtual lap of God’s love. In this heavenly awareness, the miraculous becomes the obvious, Spirit attends to your re-birth, and all your wants disappear. Herein lies the possibility, the actuality, of a "Merry Christmas."
Wishing you sacred moments and lasting joy throughout the holidays, and beyond…
Rev. Larry
Thank you, Larry. I feel blessed to be at a point in my life to understand your words and to be able to say that, while still very human, my expectations and disappointments are minimal. Miracles seem less common, and that seems to be because it does not surprise me so much that wondrous and joyous outcomes are the norm rather than the surprise outcome of any given situation. People like you and Denese have helped me learn to see the world in that way. Thank you for the gifts you have bestowed onto so many of us.
Thank you for this very opportunity to pause and remember.
Have a warm and joyous holiday.
Jerry Denton