Feeling Separate? Move In Closer

“Miracles... seem to me to rest not so much upon... power coming suddenly near us from afar but upon our perceptions being made finer, so that, for a moment, our eyes can see and our ears can hear what is there around us always.” – Willa Cather

Since last week’s post, I have remained true to my intention to navigate the exploration of my current spiritual understanding with honesty and integrity no matter where it leads. To admit that I have seemingly lost faith in the Truth principles and practices which have been my reliable guides until recently has been uncomfortable, to say the least. Sort of feels like, I imagine, a turtle who has been flipped on his back, flailing unsuccessfully to right oneself and get back on solid ground.

In my desperate attempt to alleviate the discomfort which accompanies a deflated spiritual awareness, I at first resorted to the time-honored human tendency to figure it out in my head. As if I could renew spiritual realization with a preponderance of evidence! Ha! In a nonphysical milieu, concepts falter, logic fails. That is, my attempt to satisfy myself of the veracity of any Truth Principle on an intellectual basis only further deepens my doubts. You can’t get here from there.

I also learned, that resisting doubt-ridden thoughts and feelings only deepens the suffering. So, against the mind’s objection, I adopted a Tantric approach and moved closer to these difficult feelings of emptiness and uncertainty. This up close and personal stance rewarded me with considerable relief. Another lovely paradox. Such a reversal belies the logic of the ordinary mind which would shun the unpleasant and distance oneself from the source of discomfort. Instead, such proximity makes it possible to fully experience and thereby see through the ephemeral nature of these uncomfortable feelings and greatly reduce the associated anxiety.

I have also come to see that a large portion of what has constituted my spiritual understanding (faith) has been spiritual concepts. That is, spiritual principles and ideas that I believed in. By definition, concepts and beliefs reside in the mind. And the mind is in a constant state of disequilibrium, constantly entertaining discursive thoughts and thus subject to challenging and contradictory concepts and beliefs. When we rely on conceptual spirituality, our faith is built upon concepts that are held in place by our belief in them, and thus we run the risk of doubt overtaking us when such beliefs are scrutinized and found unsupported.

We need only look at Jesus’ first lesson after his baptism (realization) to see the parallel wisdom that exhorts us to look beyond the mind to behold spiritual reality. He said, Repent, for the Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent is the English translation of the Greek word, metanoia, which means literally, “beyond the mind”. In other words, if we truly want to realize spiritual truth we must go beyond the mind. Spiritual concepts are ephemeral, based in vicissitudes within a maelstrom of evolving beliefs subject to change and contradiction.

So then where are we to find sacred groundedness if the mind is off-limits? It has been called by many names, the Heart, The Kingdom of Heaven within, The Wisdom Heart, Divine Nature, True Self, Brahman, The Christ Mind, and many more. By any name, it is as Jesus said, closer than hands and feet, closer than our very breath. It is the I Am, our pure sense of Being without form. It is who we truly are prior to body, mind, or thought; pure unfiltered reality. When we are resting in the purse sense, I am, we are at home in God, the divine abode that is not subject to change, is always present and constant, a pure awake knowing without an object. It is the I, I’ve always been, the you, you’ve always been. When feeling separate, move closer.

Simply, be still and know.

Blessings,

Rev. Larry