How is it possible that the experience of peace and joy, which Truth defines as an ever-present reality, can appear to come and go? Despite many decades of spiritual study, meditation, devotion, and heartful yearning for the fullness of spiritual realization, I have had the experience of “getting it” and then “losing it.” You too? There is no reconciling this apparent discrepancy without assailing the premise that Truth/God is always present in its fullness or probing the experience of losing it. I have no desire to challenge the omnipresence of Truth, nor does modern physics, so I must assume that the Presence of the Infinite was, is, and always will be. It would be misleading, however, to hold a view of Truth that exists in 3 time zones (i.e., past, present and future). As experience tells us (along with the great sages of all time) one cannot experience the past or the future, only the present. You can recall the past or envision a possible future, but these mind trips are experienced now or not at all.
As you can likely see, I am whittling away at the belief that Truth comes and goes, even though experience seems to support such a conclusion. How many times have we lamented the seeming absence of God in a moment of despair, loneliness, or anxiety? Too many to count, and with a seeming preponderance of evidence for the human mind to conclude that Spirit can and has left the building. So, if I experience the coming and going of the fruits of spiritual reality, and omnipresence betrays disappearance, what is really going on?
It’s a time zone issue. As soon as I come back to the present moment, then what I thought was missing is found again. In the present moment, there is a space in between thoughts and feelings, where I can feel the spaciousness, peace, and quiet of the ever-present reality of being itself. Presence comes out of the background of experience, where it has been clouded over by our focus on circumstances and reveals itself as a boundless sense of being, This is a God moment. It’s an eternal happening that seems to have temporal moments of here and not here. But that’s only from the perspective of the mind that travels through time, that reflects on a recalled past and projects into an imagined future, where it finds insecurities, doubts, concerns, and endless reasons to overlook the inherent peace and wellbeing at hand.
Jesus sought to shed light on this apparent optical delusion of consciousness with myriad references to the “kingdom of heaven,” and distinguished appearances of reality from the Truth. “You say, 4 months, then comes the harvest. I say the fields are already ripe!” The key word here is “already.” Or to the Samaritan woman who was in desperate search of the Truth, he said “the time is coming, and NOW is the time.” Over and over Jesus described the blessed certainty of heaven as a here-and-now reality. The simplicity and immediacy of this realization is what makes us overlook it. Because we have been conditioned to look outside ourselves for desirable circumstances as harbingers of our happiness, we miss the peace and fulfillment inherent in recognizing the “I am” sense of being that is here and now. It is as simple as being here now and welcoming the moment regardless of the content of expereince. When I remember this truth, I can make the subtle shift of attention that moves from outer conditions to a simple, unfiltered recognition of my own being. In its simplest form and terms, it is being aware of being aware. Because this awareness feels empty and spacious, we might be tempted to discount its power to transform our experience from lack to fulfillment, but the proof is there if we will linger and savor the unbounded equanimity that pervades this inner space.
Such a paradox can be a staggering realization that finally puts to rest the seeking that has riddled our lives. When being is recognized as the ultimate truth that brings wanting to an end, then the frantic search to have and do more can simply chill out, as we now take our guidance from a place of wholeness.
Heaven is within our grasp, neither apart from us in space nor time. It is realized in this narrow sliver of attention that is this moment. When you are done running after a better reality, consider stopping, full stop, and behold the eternity and peace that is already at hand, here for you, as you.
Peace and blessing
Rev. Larry
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